


Just Like Me

by superallens



Series: Allenbert One Shots [9]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Barry and Cisco are best buds, I think? idk, Julian is angry, M/M, Savitar Reveal, this is just my opinion on what should happen..
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 05:06:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10678296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superallens/pseuds/superallens
Summary: Savitar is revealed, changing the course of Barry Allen's life forever.





	Just Like Me

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! I've been working on this for a while, so I am so excited to have this done and ready to go.   
> This is just my opinion on who Savitar is. You don't have to agree with me that Savitar is one of Barry's time remnants.. that's just an idea ya know. Hope you enjoy!

Barry stared at Savitar, exasperated. Cisco and Julian had come up with a way to use the piece of Savitar’s armor that Jesse got them to make the armor melt away. Barry didn’t know what to expect when the armor melted away, but the sight in front of him made him feel sick. 

Barry felt like his insides got ripped out and were placed in a blender that was put on the highest level. His heart stilled, but his eyes were racing. He didn’t  _ understand _ . Barry let out a choked noise as he took a small step away from Savitar.

“But, you are-”

“I am the future Flash,” Savitar said, his menacing smile piercing into his memory. Barry stared into Savitar’s familiar hazel eyes. The eyes that stared at him every time he looked in the mirror.

“I don’t understand.”

“One shall betray you. One shall fall. One shall suffer a fate far worse than death,” Savitar said as he stepped towards Barry. They were practically chest to chest by the end of his ‘prophecy’. “Have you figured out which one’s which, Flash?”

With a little smirk on his face, Savitar ran away from the scene in a blink of an eye. Barry took off his cowl and stood there, blinking in the moonlight. 

***

Once Barry made it back into the Cortex, he was bombarded by questions by the rest of Team Flash.

“What happened?”

“Why did you turn your comms off?”

“Did Savitar get away?”

Barry ignored all the questions and sat down on the steps leading to the medbay. Everybody’s questions came to a halt when they watched Barry place his head in his hands. Barry let out a shuddered breath as he choked back his tears. 

“Barry…” Caitlin whispered tentatively. Her heels clicked as she walked to sit next to Barry. When she sat, she kept her distance. The distance felt like an ocean. So vast and far. She felt a million miles away even though she was only a foot or so away from him. “The video footage cut out and your comms were off. Can you tell us what happened?”

Barry looked up, his eyes beginning to turn a little bit red from him holding back his tears.

“Savitar is,” Barry choked out. He couldn’t get himself to complete his sentence. He stared at the rest of the people in the room as he gnawed on his bottom lip. He knew the looks of worry would soon turn to ones of anger once he revealed the truth. And Barry didn’t know if he could handle that.

“Wait,” Julian said, gravitating towards the sitting duo. “You found out who Savitar is, didn’t you?”

“Julian, you can’t just ask him-”

“Yeah,” Barry muttered, cutting Caitlin off. Barry watched as Cisco froze and stared at him with wide eyes. As did Joe. And Iris. And H.R. And Caitlin. And Julian. Everyone was frozen. Barry would’ve thought that he was running if it hadn’t of been for Julian’s slight movement forward. He would’ve thought that he ran away before he could tell them because the room was just so frozen.

“He- The device that Julian and Cisco made worked. He stayed for a minute before running off.”

“Did he say anything to you?” Iris asked, her eyes slightly hopeful.

“He said the same things he normally does.”

“Let me guess, ‘I am the future, Flash’, ‘I am God’,” Cisco chuckled. Iris slapped his bicep, causing Cisco to clutch onto it. Iris had power behind her slaps, whether she liked to admit it or not. 

“The former, yeah,” Barry whispered. “Remove the comma between future and Flash.”

“What?” Julian asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Remove the comma between future and Flash and you’ve got your answer.”

“The Future Flash?” Joe asked. “So it’s the Flash that comes after you? An Eobard Thawne sort of guy?”

“No,” Barry gulped. He closed his eyes, not able to look any of his friends in the eye after his next words. “It’s me.”

Barry couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes again, even after he said what he needed to say.

“He told me the prophecy again. Asked if I figured out which one is which yet,” Barry said. “Guess Caitlin wasn’t the one to betray us after all.”

Silence plagued the room like the sickest punishment. Barry didn’t know what else to say or do. Hell, he couldn’t even get himself to open his eyes still. The room was frozen, and even with his speed, he couldn’t make it go along faster. 

“So you’re saying you’re Savitar?” Iris asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Hearing her speak up hurt Barry deep to the core. Savitar wanted to kill Iris, and if he was Savitar… why would he want to kill his best friend since childhood?

“I don’t know if it’s me from the future, another Earth, maybe even a time remnant?” Barry started as he slowly lifted his head up from his hands. “All I know is that when his suit faded away, it was like looking into a mirror. He had my hair, my skin, even my eyes. His eyes were empty though, it was like he was an empty shell or something.”

“A time remnant is an interesting theory,” Cisco whispered under his breath. Iris smacked him in the shoulder once more. “You gotta stop doing that Iris.”

“Right now is not the time,” Iris muttered under her breath with a little harshness in her tone of voice.

“You did this to me,” Julian whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

“What?” Barry replied.

“You did this to me,” Julian repeated, his voice rising. Julian’s eyelids squeezed shut as the silence sounded like sirens in his ears. His fists clenched as his eyes opened once more, the fluorescent lights of the lab making his eyes feel like they were bleeding.

“You… You have made me suffer for years. There was a time where I couldn’t even leave my bloody room without his-your voice bouncing around in my skull! You have made me  _ hurt _ people, you have made me become someone I never wanted to be,” Julian yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls of the cortex. “You made me into a  _ monster _ , Barry Allen.”

“Julian, we don’t know if Barry really is Savitar yet-”

“Save it Caitlin, he’s not the first one in this lab to lie to me.” Caitlin averted her eyes from Julian before scooting a bit away from Barry.

“You know what? I haven’t had a full night's rest since my expedition, there hasn’t been a night where-”

“Julian,” Barry said, cutting Julian off. He stood up from his seat on the steps, his arm extended to Julian, as if creating the arm barrier between them would calm the other man down. Julian let out a loud huff from his nose as anger rose up inside of him.

“Don’t come closer to me, Allen,” Julian fumed, his voice turning cold. “I will fuck you up, don’t even try.”

“All I wanted was for my sister to come back. You promised me that. But instead you took away my life too,” Julian said, his blue eyes boring holes into Barry’s. “How does that make you feel?”

“I’m sorry, Julian,” Barry replied, his voice cracking as he shook his head slightly.

“Sorry isn’t gonna cut a lifetime’s worth of damage.” Julian looked around the cortex with his jaw clenched. His eyes locked on the exit. He whipped his head back towards the group before walking over to the chair he was once sitting at and picking up his beige coat.

“You know what? Fuck this shit,” Julian grumbled, walking towards the exit.

“Julian, wait,” Cisco called out after Julian. Julian stopped in his tracks for a split second, before ultimately deciding to continue walking away from the group. He didn’t even look back. 

“What the hell just happened?” Joe whispered under his breath. He rested one hand on his forehead and the other on his hip as he tried to ward off his incoming headache. 

“You okay, Barry?” Caitlin asked, looking up to Barry who stared at the exit. 

“This is all my fault.”

“Don’t think like that,” Iris said, walking towards Barry. “I’ve known you my whole life, you would never do something like this. You aren’t Savitar.”

“You didn’t see what went down, Iris,” Barry said. “It was me. I just don’t know how.”

“Exactly. You don’t know how. And we’re gonna figure that out,” Cisco said. 

Barry continued to stare at the exit. He didn’t even try to go after Julian, for he didn’t even know what he could’ve said to the other man. His heart ached as the look of betrayal and hurt on Julian’s face etched itself into Barry’s head. He supposed that Julian Albert was just another name on the list of people Barry Allen hurt.

“Hey guys!” HR exclaimed as he walked through the entrance to the cortex. “I just ran into James when I was coming in. He looked  _ pissed! _ ”

“HR, right now really isn't the time,” Caitlin muttered. “We have bigger issues on our hands.”

“I thought we liked Julian? Is he the Rob Kardashian in our Flash family?” HR clicked his tongue as he gesticulated with his drumstick. “You know, I really saw this one coming. I really did. He was always the  _ rogue _ child around here.”

“Julian isn't a rogue- you know what HR, where have you been anyways? I thought we went over this,” Cisco groaned, walking with his hand holding his head as he made his way back towards his computer. “Barry, you said something about a time remanent?”

“Yeah,” Barry muttered, walking towards the center console. “I mean, I've made a remanent before, with the whole Zoom thing… What would stop me from doing it in the future? And that remnant never dies?”

“Is that even possible?” Joe asked. 

“I mean, I'm gonna have to do some more research, but anything is possible with the Speed Force,” Cisco said, looking for their existing file on time remnants in their software. “We really don't have much on file about time remnants…”

“Would Gideon know anything about them?” Iris asked. Everyone in the room looked at her like her head had grown three sizes bigger. “What? She knew about the newspaper from the future, and she's an AI… I feel like she can answer our questions.”

“Iris West, you are a  _ genius _ ,” Cisco said, standing up from his chair. “How did we forget about Gideon?” 

***

Barry and Cisco stood in front of the white pedestal that operated Gideon in Eowells’s old room. Barry let out a shuddered breath before speaking up. “Gideon?”

“Hello, Mr. Allen,” Gideon’s voice rang out. Her pixelated head appeared in front of Barry and Cisco. 

“Hi, so, Gideon, we’re in a bit of a situation right now,” Cisco said, his hands clasped together.

“Could you elaborate on that, Mr. Ramon?”

“Long story short, can you tell us everything you know about time remnants?”

“Of course,” Gideon answered. “A time remnant is a phenomenon that occurs as a result of metahuman speedsters’ time travel abilities. Due to-”

“We know that bit already, just like, elaborate?” Barry said, more as a question than a statement. 

“Time remnants act completely separate from the current version of the person in question, and require convincing to allow themselves to be sacrificed. Although time remnants are illusions a speedster, they can adapt and become nothing like the speedster that created them.”

Barry and Cisco exchanged a look of shock as they drank in the information.

“Do you know who Savitar is?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell us who it is?”

“The person known as ‘Savitar’ is Barry Allen’s rogue time remnant from 2020. Mr. Allen created him when battling Godspeed.”

“What type of villain name is Godspeed?” Cisco muttered under his breath.

“You named him, Mr. Ramon.”

“ _ Well  _ then,” Cisco huffed. Cisco was mumbling about how his future self must’ve been off his game that day. Barry held back a smile. 

“So when Savitar was unveiled, it wasn’t a future me or someone from another Earth?” Barry asked.

“That is correct,” Gideon responded. “Mr. Allen, Savitar is a cruel human and I advise you be careful around him.”

“Do you know how I can stop him?” Barry asked urgently. His hands were anxiously threading through his hair as he began to pace. 

“My apologies, Mr. Allen, I do not know that information.”

Barry squeezed his eyes shut, sighing deeply. This was his final chance of finally knowing how to stop Savitar. Gideon was his last hope and she did not have the answers he needed.

“Thank you, Gideon,” Barry said, slightly frustrated.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Allen.” Gideon faded away, making the room completely silent. 

“How is it that she's both helpful  _ and  _ disobliging at the same time?”

“I don't know,” Barry replied, his hand tugging at his hair. “Cisco, what are we doing?”

Cisco gave Barry a confused look as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind his hair. 

“Trying to save Iris,” Cisco said slowly. 

“This whole thing! It's a game! A game against myself,” Barry laughed bitterly. His hands went up to his head as he paced around the room. “How do I defeat  _ myself? _ ” 

“Gideon said it’s not you, it's a you that you created,” Cisco said. Realization dawned his face and his mouth gaped open slightly. “His prophecy suddenly makes so much more sense.  _ You created me.  _ Heh.”

“Not helping, Cisco.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Cisco replied with a shake of his head. “Look, you aren't in this alone. You don't need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders dude. You have us. You have  _ me _ , your  _ best friend _ .”

Barry looked down and smiled. 

“No matter what Iris says, I'm your best friend,” Cisco muttered jokingly. “In all seriousness, we can do this, Barry. We can and we  _ will _ defeat Savitar.”

“Thanks Cisco,” Barry said softly. 

“Anytime.” Cisco was about to walk out of the room, but Barry grabbed his arm. Cisco looked back confused. 

“Wait, Cisco…”

“Yeah?”

“I don't know if I've said this to you yet, but I'm really sorry about everything. Changing the timeline, your brother, not helping you when you really needed me. I've been a shit friend lately,” Barry sighed. “I know that apologizes won't fix everything, but it's the best place to start. I'm really happy that we're friends again.”

“ _ Best  _ friends,” Cisco smiled. He pulled Barry into a hug, patting the speedster’s back. “Of course we're still friends. The universe wants us to be bros.”

Barry and Cisco laughed, pulling away from the hug. Together, they left the room to go talk to the rest of the team about their findings. 

***

The next day, Barry walked into the labs hesitantly. He didn’t know how working with Julian was going to work anymore, considering the fact that other man probably wanted nothing more than to dance on Barry’s grave.

However, Barry was surprised to see that the lab was empty, even though Julian’s briefcase laid on his desk. He set down his coffee from Jitters onto his desk and was just about to lay his jacket next to it when he heard footsteps entering the lab. Taking a deep breath, he turned around to face Julian.

Julian had a scowl etched onto his face as his heavy steps slapped against the flooring of the labs. Julian hadn’t even bothered to move the blonde strand of hair in his eyes out of his face.

“Hey, Julian, I’m-” Barry was cut off by Julian’s fist colliding with Barry’s jaw. Barry winced as his head was thrown to the side. His hand immediately went up to cradle his jaw before looking back to Julian.

“What the hell?”

“You have lost every bit of my fucking respect, Allen,” Julian said bitterly, his jaw clenched. His accent was thicker as anger coursed through his veins. “Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

“I deserved that,” Barry muttered, rubbing at his jaw.

“I talked to Singh about letting me transfer over to the other lab, but he isn’t having it,” Julian said, going back over to his desk. “Says he wants his best two workers in the CSI division to be in the same lab.”

Barry stared at Julian with his brows furrowed.

“I know, I was surprised too when he said you were in the top two. You’re almost never here anyways,” Julian muttered. He placed his hands on the edge of his desk before leaning forward to stare at Barry. “Listen to me, for I’m only gonna say this once. Stay out of my way, you have no idea what I’m capable of. Got it?”

Barry nodded before going back to his desk. This was going to be a long day.

***

Later that day, Barry stared at Julian as the other man typed away at his computer. The room was in complete silence, the air thick with tension. 

“We found out information about Savitar,” Barry whispered as he finished signing off on a document. Julian’s head shot up, his eyes shooting daggers at Barry. 

“What did I tell you about leaving me alone, Allen?”

“Okay, first, you told me to stay out of your way. Which I am. And second, I thought that would be some information you'd be interested in knowing. Guess I was wrong.”

Julian sighed, resting his elbows on the table as his hands cradled his head. “What did you find out?”

“So you wanna know?” 

Julian shifted his head so he was glaring at Barry. Barry shrank under his gaze, putting his hands up in mock defense.

“I was just messing with you,” Barry muttered. He straightened his posture before leaning forward against his desk. “So here’s the deal…”

Barry then proceeded to tell Julian every word that Gideon said. Julian showed no emotion as Barry talked, only showing that he was even paying attention by the occasional nod. 

Once Barry finished, he slumped back into his chair with a shrug. Julian bit his lip to hold back a sigh.

“Thank you for the information, Mr. Allen,” Julian stated, turning his attention back towards his computer. The tone of his voice was bored as his fingers clacked against the keyboard. “I’ll add it to my file.”

Barry scrunched his eyebrows at Julian. The slightest bit of anger began to brew in the pit of his stomach. 

“That’s it?” Barry scoffed. Julian rolled his eyes as he ignored Barry. “All I get is a half-assed thank you? You didn’t even have the decency to call me by my first name. I thought we were past that point. You know, I didn’t have to tell you anything. I could’ve kept this to myself.”

Julian drew in a deep breath as he stood up from his seat. “Oh, let me guess! You told me out of the kindness of your heart, yeah?”

Barry’s lips drew into a tight line as he stared at the shorter man in front of him.  

“You haven’t even stopped to think about the damage you have done, huh?”

“You don’t know anything, Julian.”

“Oh, I don’t?”

“Nope.” 

“Are you that dense?”

“Excuse me?”

“Look around you, Barry!” Julian said, a strained laugh escaping his lips. “This is the aftermath of your future mistakes! Never in my life did I think that decisions one made in the future would affect one’s past, but here we are.”

“Julian…”

“You need to own up to your mistakes,” Julian muttered, sitting back down in his seat in an effort to calm himself down.

“How am I supposed to do that when I haven’t even made these mistakes yet? I don’t know what causes this to happen, hell, I don’t know if it’s already happened! All the remnants I’ve created died,” Barry said. “I don’t know how this happened. Nobody does.”

“Not even your fancy AI? Gideon?’

“Nope,” Barry sighed. “Look, Julian, I said I was sorry. Can we just, I don’t know, get along again, be friends? Pretend this didn’t happen? Maybe?”

“I can’t pretend a vast majority of my adult life never happened. If there’s one thing you need to learn, it’s how to accept that you fuck up, that you mistakes, and to get over it,” Julian stated, his voice perplexed. He didn’t understand how someone could ask another a question like that. He didn’t understand how Barry could live the way he does. He then whispered, “And to think I ever liked you.”

Barry was about to turn away before he froze in his place. Did he hear Julian right? “What?”

“You heard me, Allen.”

“I did, I just… don’t understand.” 

“Do I have to spell it out for you? Are you that inadequate?” Julian scowled, looking up from his desk. His eyes pierced into Barry’s. “I liked you. As more than just a work associate, or a friend.”

“But… huh?”

“I mean, it was hard not to after you returned from Flashpoint. You were suddenly a decent human towards me, invited me to the movies for fuck’s sake. I always did find you attractive, but,” Julian said, winding down a bit from his anger ride. “Lucky for me, I saw your true colors before it turned into anything more than just… just a silly crush.”

“What about Caitlin?” Barry asked. “I thought you had something going with her?”

“At first, I really just enjoyed her company, as a  _ friend _ . But after I visited my family after Gorilla City, I had to look at things from a new perspective,” Julian muttered. “Not all of us got lucky and has a parent like Joe. My parents… they ignored me for years after I moved out here. They always expected me to be this good boy, the  _ Heir _ . During the trip, they told me I needed to settle down, find a nice girl.”

“I liked Caitlin. Caitlin is a nice girl. She was kind to me and treated me like I was something more than just some mad scientist. If I was going to develop feelings for a woman, it would be her. And I thought I was for a little bit, but then she betrayed me by keeping a piece of the Stone,” Julian’s mouth twisted into an odd smile, a pained chuckle following the movement. “Things really do come full circle, don’t they Allen? People that I think I like and rust are always the ones that betray me in the end. First my family, then Caitlin, and now you.”

Barry stood there, flabbergasted. Everything that Julian told him was a lot to take in to say the least. He was only just started to connect the dots in his head when the timer on Julian’s phone went off. 

“Well, I’ve got things to do, people to see,” Julian muttered, collecting his things. “Good night.”

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

“There’s only so many times you can say that until it loses its meaning.”

Barry nodded, looking down to his feet. “I won’t say it again, but, is there any way I could make this up to you?”

Julian paused at the doorway. “Defeat Savitar, then we’ll talk.”

After Julian left, Barry was left alone in the lab. He stared up at the ceiling, right at the window where the lighting struck years ago. It felt like a lifetime. 

He wondered how he got into this mess, but the question of the hour was how he was going to get out. How would he defeat himself without destroying himself?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments! I love to hear feedback :)


End file.
